Today we had another meeting with LMG’s teacher, principal, and other educators at her school. This was the first meeting of the year. Just as last year, she is struggling to make the adjustment, is clearly behind in a few subject areas, and clearly advanced in at least one. On the one hand, these meetings are very, very good. On the other hand, the need for them is not. I guess I had hoped that with some hard work, and a few strategies, it would get easier for her. Lord, I just want it to be eaiser for her.
Today they recommended a full case study and assessment to see if she has a learning disability. As an educator, I know that it is good to get this assessment early. I know that if she has an LD, it does not determine who she is or what her abilities are. To a certain extent, it basically identifies areas where she will struggle, so that we can prepare ahead of time. It’s just difficult to sit where I am sitting, and see this long road stretched out before us, and… well, I just want it to be easier for her.
I don’t want her entire educational experience, both on paper and in her own experience and memory and heart, to be defined by what she can not do or by what she has difficulty doing. My heart’s desire is for her to be able to follow her heart’s desire without any sense of hinderances because of what has been difficult in the past. But, well… that is so very difficult to do… to be confident in our own abilities when our past failures loom so large. I’m not even sure if I know how to do that. And now I need to teach it to my daughter.