A public service announcement regarding responsible shirt wearing.

Men, the occasions in which you can politely subject strangers to your shirtless selves are clear and finite. And they follow:

at a water park or public pool

while doing your own yardwork, in the relative privacy of being on your own property

if you are Lenny Kravitz — then, honey, you don’t need to wear a shirt, EVER.

(I rest my case on this point)

Please note that the following times are not appropriate for going shirtless:

at concerts

at carnivals or county fairs

especially not while walking down Main Street in your shorts and sandals with socks

Please plan and dress accordingly.